Written in December 2025
It’s the most horrible time of the year! Well, Christmas is fine in moderation but for us neurodivergent folk, it can be an overwhelming and dysregulating time of year. Not only are things different (food, house, routines) but there are additional social pressures and the expectation of conformity to weight us down further.
With that in mind, here are some tips for improving the experience for autistic people. Some of these will work equally well for ADHDers and AuDHDers. The next part will be focused on ADHD, but there’s such a lot of overlap with our neurotypes and needs that both parts are relevant.
- No crackers! Loud bangs can trigger our nervous system responses and we take ages to regulate. Everyone else is over the noise within seconds, but it rings in our ears and bodies for hours
- Consider decorating very slowly, giving the autistic person a chance to adjust to the new things in the home, or only decorate for 3 days over Christmas to reduce the duration of the change. You don’t even have to decorate at all! Or, just decorate one room.
- Allow people to eat their safe food. I love a Christmas dinner, but so many autistic people struggle with this overwhelming blend of textures and tastes. There really is no rule about what to eat on Christmas Day!
- Remove the demand for Christmas jumpers or a dress code. Autistic people often have a sensory need to meet when it comes to clothes, and formal shirts, itchy jumpers or whatever else it is may not work for us. Let us be comfortable.
- Consider not wrapping presents. Sometimes, the element of surprise is overwhelming so doing away with wrapping lessens the impact of this
- Allow people to open presents at intervals over a couple of days – again the overwhelm can be too much for all the present opening to happen on the same day, so consider staggering the gifts over a couple of days
- Allow people to open gifts in private – this removes the need for performative masking of doing the right face and the right tone of voice. Autistic people don’t emote in the same way as non-autistic people and we really don’t need the extra pressure at this time of year
- Give people a safe space to retreat to, especially if they are not in their familiar home. We need quiet solitude to recharge from the demands of social contact, and to be able to drop the mask and stim freely.
- Speak to relatives in advance about all these things, and explain that these are reasonable adjustments that, while not covered by the Equality Act, are very much in the spirit of that law.
- Consider not inviting relatives or friends who insist that the autistic person(s) in your life meld to their demands, or who make negative comments. No-one needs that at what is meant to be the Most Wonderful Time of the Year.
- Create a schedule and try to stick to it. If we know what is happening and when we can be prepared (as far as possible). If things change, give us as much notice as possible. If things might change, tell us that so we know to expect the unexpected! Routine really helps ground us, while sudden change sets us adrift
- Give us notice of transitions between activities, such as opening presents and eating lunch, or food and then going for a walk, or solo time and then family time. We struggle with transitions so having advance notice really helps us prepare
- Don’t insist on hugs or kisses with relatives (or anyone, really). Many of us hate physical contact, can’t stand the perfume or washing powder some people use, or really dislike the fabrics someone is wearing (velvet seems especially odious), so we will really struggle with embracing distant aunts and uncles.